Glucophage........sounds like a massage stroke.........
Years ago I was a massage therapist and taught sports massage. In Swedish massage, there is a stroke called effleurage. It's a smooth palms applied feather light to security blanket deep stroke that invokes a sense of well being. Glucophage sounds like that, kind of soothing. My brain had visions of this drug easing my blood sugar into normal range and it probably does that but just like the grilled cheese sandwich, there is more to the story.....
Now here is my disclaimer, what you are about to read may or may not be graphic in nature.
I like to call this my poopy pill. The first time I took it at night and in the morning it had side effects that made it impossible to make my last trip to San Francisco. For one thing, I didn't think that I could make it from my house to the airport without having to stop more than twice to use the bathroom. And second, it gives me gas that a 6 year old boy in a make shift club house would be envious of. I'm afraid that they would have had to make an emergency evacuation of the aircraft had I made my flight. I had visions of letting one slip on the flight (cause it can't be controlled!) and the emergency oxygen masks dropping from the overhead panels. It WAS that bad! When I filled the prescription, the pharmacist kindly called me over to the consultation window and discreetly whispered to me that it was going to have some "less than pleasant side effects and I might want to stay close to home for the first couple of days". I asked if I could use an over the counter remedy to counter act the effects and he looked at me sadly and told me "no". I suspect he has had some personal experience with this.
So I cancelled my San Francisco plans and spent the week on half a dose in the mornings and made earnest attempts to get a grip on my diet. That was, until the grilled cheese experience yesterday. I started my full dose in the mornings and at night after the kryptonite sandwich.
It takes time but my body is adjusting and the side effects are easing. I have visions once again of the gentle easing pressure of the Glucophage wrapping loving hands around the excess sugars from my liver and restoring a sense of well being to my body..........
This does bring to mind a funny travel story that has NOTHING to do with diabetes!
I travel every week 4-5 days. I don't know about you but I get bored in airports and restless on long commercial flights. I have to find ways to entertain myself.
On this particular flight to Iforgotwhere, I was not fortunate enough to get a window or aisle seat. I'm OK with that. but this time I was sitting between two rather large mountain men, neither of which were willing to let me have an arm rest, so I sat there with my shoulder blades pointed towards each other like the people on either side of me were contagious cause you can't invade personal space, its a RULE!. About 5 minutes after lift off I remembered that I was letting a friend of mine fly Peg, my airplane and his girlfriend had a tendency to get airsick. I was going to need another airsick bag in my plane. I reach forward and pull it out of the seat back in front of me. This little action didn't go unnoticed by my seat mates and I found that I had a little more shoulder room.
Now like I said, I have to find ways to entertain myself. This was going to be a 4 hour flight and sitting like I was sitting was going to be painful by the end of the first hour. With this tiny bit more breathing space I was allowed, the oxygen got to my brain and I could think clearer. Think thoughts I probably should not be thinking. But I still didn't have enough oxygen to my brain to enforce the inner social director into action, so I reached up and opened the air valve up top (called a weemac by the way, cute huh?), the air was now directed right down on me and in this small gesture, the gentlemen to my right and left leaned apart a tad more, I now had arm rests. More oxygen to my brain now but still not enough for the inner social director to step up and tell me to "play nice", so I began to fan myself with the airsick bag..................I now have enough room between me and my seat mates to sublease. I wipe my brow and................
These guys were true gentlemen. In stereo, they asked me if I was OK. I wiped my brow again and said I would be fine. Mountain man on my right (the coveted aisle seat) offered me his seat...in case I should have to get up in a hurry. I graciously accepted! Having had enough oxygen to my brain now, I knew a good thing when I saw it. Eventually, the inner social director got the best of me and when drinks were served, I sprung for drinks for my seat mates, then once they were friendly and cordial, I confessed. I just needed the bag for my own plane. I switched back to my assigned seat and the Mountain men kindly gave me a bit more room and an arm rest. They were good guys, smelled good, looked good, not a bad spot to be in, sandwiched inbetween to big strong men.
Did you know that when you are on the moving sidewalks in the airports, if you turn around and walk in place it looks like you are doing the Moon walk? Yep, it does. Gotta find some way of entertaining myself.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Hello, My name is Doris and I am a diabetic.....
Hello Doris!
After swimming in the rive Da Nile yesterday, I got to the bank, warmed myself in the sun and dined on not one but 2 luscious grilled cheese sandwiches, on white bread with jalapenos and dipped in salsa. My favorite comfort food. It was an over cast day in the real world and that just makes me crave certain foods. Yesterday it was grilled cheese. Towanda, my inner Cave Woman was no where to be found, I suspected she wouldn't approve but I did it anyway. My before reading was somewhat decent so I indulged. What did we learn?
1. For me, this seems to be a disease of indulgence and the cure is going to have to be self control.
2. Learning to control it is not far from learning how to fly. When you are first learning to fly, before you can solo, you have to master emergency situations like stalls. You have power on stalls that simulate stalls that can occur while taking off and you have power off stalls that simulate stalls that can occur while coming in for a landing. Stalls happen when the angle of the wing is at such an angle that the wind can not create it's lift. Make a paper airplane and throw it. If it doesn't go straight the whole flight but pitches up then sharply down, this is a stall. Learning to eat as my body needs is much like this. Grill Cheese sandwiches, for me caused an power on stall and my blood sugar soared to 262. The consequences were miserable and I had to sleep it off.
3. As in any loss or change, there is a certain level of grieving. It goes in stages, 2 of those stages are denial and bargaining. I spent a good amount of time in both yesterday. And that brings me to this blog.
Hello, My name is Doris and I am a diabetic.
Step One: Admitted we were powerless over diabetes and that our blood sugar had become unmanageable.
Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves or medication could return the glucose readings to normal.
Step Three: Made the decision to turn our will and our diets over to the care of a health care team such as endocrinologist, diabetes educator, etc.
Step Four: Made a searching and fearless inventory of our pantries and began a food log and regular glucose testing.
Step Five:...........................you get the picture.
A grilled cheese sandwich! Something as benign as a grilled cheese sandwich made poison in my body! It was certainly a wake up call.....OK, it put me to sleep really but when I woke up, I knew. I knew that there was going to be no more bargaining, no more dips in Da Nile, the meter is not wrong, this is for real, the real deal, I am a diabetic. Wishing it away is not going to get me anywhere.
Now what?
After swimming in the rive Da Nile yesterday, I got to the bank, warmed myself in the sun and dined on not one but 2 luscious grilled cheese sandwiches, on white bread with jalapenos and dipped in salsa. My favorite comfort food. It was an over cast day in the real world and that just makes me crave certain foods. Yesterday it was grilled cheese. Towanda, my inner Cave Woman was no where to be found, I suspected she wouldn't approve but I did it anyway. My before reading was somewhat decent so I indulged. What did we learn?
1. For me, this seems to be a disease of indulgence and the cure is going to have to be self control.
2. Learning to control it is not far from learning how to fly. When you are first learning to fly, before you can solo, you have to master emergency situations like stalls. You have power on stalls that simulate stalls that can occur while taking off and you have power off stalls that simulate stalls that can occur while coming in for a landing. Stalls happen when the angle of the wing is at such an angle that the wind can not create it's lift. Make a paper airplane and throw it. If it doesn't go straight the whole flight but pitches up then sharply down, this is a stall. Learning to eat as my body needs is much like this. Grill Cheese sandwiches, for me caused an power on stall and my blood sugar soared to 262. The consequences were miserable and I had to sleep it off.
3. As in any loss or change, there is a certain level of grieving. It goes in stages, 2 of those stages are denial and bargaining. I spent a good amount of time in both yesterday. And that brings me to this blog.
Hello, My name is Doris and I am a diabetic.
Step One: Admitted we were powerless over diabetes and that our blood sugar had become unmanageable.
Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves or medication could return the glucose readings to normal.
Step Three: Made the decision to turn our will and our diets over to the care of a health care team such as endocrinologist, diabetes educator, etc.
Step Four: Made a searching and fearless inventory of our pantries and began a food log and regular glucose testing.
Step Five:...........................you get the picture.
A grilled cheese sandwich! Something as benign as a grilled cheese sandwich made poison in my body! It was certainly a wake up call.....OK, it put me to sleep really but when I woke up, I knew. I knew that there was going to be no more bargaining, no more dips in Da Nile, the meter is not wrong, this is for real, the real deal, I am a diabetic. Wishing it away is not going to get me anywhere.
Now what?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
You Make me Feel like a Natural Woman.......
Meet the Inner Cave Woman!
I woke up this morning dripping from the waters of Da Nile. This just can't be happening to me. I didn't sign up for it, I don't want it, thank you. I don't have time for it and I have other things to do, better things. Like eat what I want, when I want, where I want, how I want. I want I want I want! But for now I have to deny myself. I hate this. I am angry! I want to throw rocks! I got to thinking about my Cave woman diet, depressed by my morning numbers. Cave Woman needs a name to pull me through this. I always loved the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. I loved the wise old woman and the birth of another wise, soon to be old woman in the change of life. I loved the passing of the torch through the jar of honey from the bee hunter or bee keeper or bee whisperer, I forgot what it was. I just remember the passing of the jar of honey and it was like the passing of the torch from one Goddess to another. So Cave Woman is Towanda. Why? The first time I powered up an aircraft and rotated off the ground that was the scream that I let out. I was free. Somehow, Towanda has to free me from the depths of Da Nile to a freedom that I know is there. I mean, after a hurricane you don't see squirrels, cats and dogs lying around dead, I have not yet seen anyone dead and it be from the diagnosis of diabetes, maybe from diabetes out of control but not just the diagnosis. So somehow I know that I can get through this and I know that I need the help of my inner Cave Woman....now known as Towanda.
So I have higher than I want numbers this morning and I am being good. Good to the point that my taste buds are changing and I am preferring the live foods, combinations of the right amounts of proteins to carbs to fiber to whatever....I can feel the difference and I like it. But I look at my numbers and I wonder, "Am I going to be able to do this with diet and exercise alone?" When I am on the road, some days, like travel days to Washington and Alaska, I bet I don't get in a thousand steps a day let alone have a way to exercise. and just for now, I want to forget the Cave Woman diet, forget the numbers and have a breakfast that I want. Like a rest stop or something. So I pull out of my freezer.....raisin bread.....in a plastic wrapper. Towanda tells me that it's in plastic, not available to her in her time. I defiantly read the label. Hmmmm.....sugar content is a little high....Towanda perches herself on the counter top and blocks the outlet as I pull the toaster out of the cabinet. I find another outlet and pop the (for now) taboo treat into the toaster, pour myself a cuppa coffee and step out on the deck to see what the birds sound like this morning. I come back and my toaster has betrayed me and joined the ranks of Towanda, Cave Woman, keeper of the common sense and it has burnt my toast. Now I really want to throw rocks! I pop in a couple more slices and my breakfast is complete. Yup, just a couple slices of toast, that's all I want. I am not big on breakfast in the first place and since diagnosis, I am diligent about eating it, and snacks, and and and. I used to be able to go till 3 in the afternoon before I put any nutrition into my body. I know this is not good. I don't get the sensation of "hungry" just like some people don't get the sensation of "full". The indicator just is not working. I tap on the glass and nothing. It's inop. A couple of times since I started the Cave Woman diet, I have been able to tell what time it is by the stirring in my stomach and I am intrigued by the sensation. And years back, when I went to Weight Watchers to loose a few pounds I did feel the sensation of hunger at meal times. Back then I ate more than I ever had and lost weight, and learned what it was like to feel the sensation of hunger and it amazed me.
So my hunger indicator is in the shop. In the meantime, Towanda and I have discussed that I can not handle eating an elephant all in one bite and diabetes is a massive elephant. It's Saturday, just toast, just once in a while is better than nothing, better than Dr. Pepper and one small step back...maybe not a step back but a standstill? Sure, I could make better choices, I can also choose not to. It takes time to grieve the loss of anything, I am grieving the loss of the life that I once knew, I admit, my habits weren't that great, I admit that I am liking some of the changes I am making but I also admit that I am still swimming in Da Nile. Shall we "Raise An" toast to the process?
It takes time to dry off from the waters of Da Nile. Cave Woman Towanda didn't have a towel back then either. Towanda will carry me through, she's one tough cookie.......mmmmmm cookies......... It's a good thing I don't have a towel to throw in once in a while!
I woke up this morning dripping from the waters of Da Nile. This just can't be happening to me. I didn't sign up for it, I don't want it, thank you. I don't have time for it and I have other things to do, better things. Like eat what I want, when I want, where I want, how I want. I want I want I want! But for now I have to deny myself. I hate this. I am angry! I want to throw rocks! I got to thinking about my Cave woman diet, depressed by my morning numbers. Cave Woman needs a name to pull me through this. I always loved the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. I loved the wise old woman and the birth of another wise, soon to be old woman in the change of life. I loved the passing of the torch through the jar of honey from the bee hunter or bee keeper or bee whisperer, I forgot what it was. I just remember the passing of the jar of honey and it was like the passing of the torch from one Goddess to another. So Cave Woman is Towanda. Why? The first time I powered up an aircraft and rotated off the ground that was the scream that I let out. I was free. Somehow, Towanda has to free me from the depths of Da Nile to a freedom that I know is there. I mean, after a hurricane you don't see squirrels, cats and dogs lying around dead, I have not yet seen anyone dead and it be from the diagnosis of diabetes, maybe from diabetes out of control but not just the diagnosis. So somehow I know that I can get through this and I know that I need the help of my inner Cave Woman....now known as Towanda.
So I have higher than I want numbers this morning and I am being good. Good to the point that my taste buds are changing and I am preferring the live foods, combinations of the right amounts of proteins to carbs to fiber to whatever....I can feel the difference and I like it. But I look at my numbers and I wonder, "Am I going to be able to do this with diet and exercise alone?" When I am on the road, some days, like travel days to Washington and Alaska, I bet I don't get in a thousand steps a day let alone have a way to exercise. and just for now, I want to forget the Cave Woman diet, forget the numbers and have a breakfast that I want. Like a rest stop or something. So I pull out of my freezer.....raisin bread.....in a plastic wrapper. Towanda tells me that it's in plastic, not available to her in her time. I defiantly read the label. Hmmmm.....sugar content is a little high....Towanda perches herself on the counter top and blocks the outlet as I pull the toaster out of the cabinet. I find another outlet and pop the (for now) taboo treat into the toaster, pour myself a cuppa coffee and step out on the deck to see what the birds sound like this morning. I come back and my toaster has betrayed me and joined the ranks of Towanda, Cave Woman, keeper of the common sense and it has burnt my toast. Now I really want to throw rocks! I pop in a couple more slices and my breakfast is complete. Yup, just a couple slices of toast, that's all I want. I am not big on breakfast in the first place and since diagnosis, I am diligent about eating it, and snacks, and and and. I used to be able to go till 3 in the afternoon before I put any nutrition into my body. I know this is not good. I don't get the sensation of "hungry" just like some people don't get the sensation of "full". The indicator just is not working. I tap on the glass and nothing. It's inop. A couple of times since I started the Cave Woman diet, I have been able to tell what time it is by the stirring in my stomach and I am intrigued by the sensation. And years back, when I went to Weight Watchers to loose a few pounds I did feel the sensation of hunger at meal times. Back then I ate more than I ever had and lost weight, and learned what it was like to feel the sensation of hunger and it amazed me.
So my hunger indicator is in the shop. In the meantime, Towanda and I have discussed that I can not handle eating an elephant all in one bite and diabetes is a massive elephant. It's Saturday, just toast, just once in a while is better than nothing, better than Dr. Pepper and one small step back...maybe not a step back but a standstill? Sure, I could make better choices, I can also choose not to. It takes time to grieve the loss of anything, I am grieving the loss of the life that I once knew, I admit, my habits weren't that great, I admit that I am liking some of the changes I am making but I also admit that I am still swimming in Da Nile. Shall we "Raise An" toast to the process?
It takes time to dry off from the waters of Da Nile. Cave Woman Towanda didn't have a towel back then either. Towanda will carry me through, she's one tough cookie.......mmmmmm cookies......... It's a good thing I don't have a towel to throw in once in a while!
Friday, January 23, 2009
I gotta go Tea Tea...hey you know me....
The road to Anywhere begins with a single step.
Did your mother ask you if "you went before you left the house?" like my mother did? And usually the question was posed after you left the house and then it was to late to go back and do the right thing?
I was raised in a Navy family. We moved every 15 months. We were good travelers. We could hold our bladders for entire states and then our bladders were synchronized with my fathers, who did the driving and was in control of the bio break stops. Texas was a tough state to make it through! But this blog entry is not about bladder control. It's about a new road and first steps.
I went to my hangar today to visit my plane Peg. One of the consequences of out of control diabetes is you can't get a third class medical certificate necessary to pilot a plane. Right now, I can't fly, or I can't fly alone legally but I can fly with another pilot in command or a flight instructor. So I went to sit with Peg and plan my course of action to get back up in the air. Making payments on a plane you can't fly is quite a motivator.
In the past, on the way to the airport I would stop and get a Dr. Pepper. And that's what I did today. Only I made a "smart choice" and got a sugar free Diet Dr. Pepper. It was a habit. A nice habit that I thought I would miss until I started my Cave Woman Diet. I gave up sodas a month ago, not by choice so much as it just gave me that "not quite right" feeling, my body and my taste buds just naturally rejected it and as a result I have lost 4 pounds effortlessly. I did a happy dance on the scale this morning when I saw that.
So now I'm faced with having to make another change, another small step. How will this effect my road travels? Dr. Pepper was my constant companion. And then I had visions of sun tea slowly brewing on the dashboard of my rental car. Easily packable, light weight refreshing Celestial Seasonings Sun Tea bags carefully stuffed in water bottles going down the road to Anywhere. That's not so bad. In fact my inner Cave Woman is digging it. Since I began this Cave Woman Diet, eating nothing that wasn't available to my fore mothers (well there are exceptions, I love Splenda) I have developed a taste for the natural sweetness in life. Like sun tea on the dash and road side tea parties.
Hey! Maybe I can make sun tea from the waters of Da Nile?
It's a journey, not a destination!
Welcome to The Diabetic Road Warrior!
I went to the doctor the other day because I was "not feeling quite right". I needed to renew perscriptions, needed an inspection, and it was "just time". In the course of the appointment with the doctor, she reminded me once again that my blood sugar had been a little high and why hadn't I gone for the wonderful glucose intolerance test that she had previously asked me to get....6 months earlier. She decided to give me a quick and painless prick on the finger to find out that my blood sugar at that time was 272. The appointment just got longer. I now have my very own dipstick to check my glucose levels and I have been on a mission ever since to figure out how to make this work with my tumbleweed life style.
***about me......I inspect aviation fuel systems at FBO's in the Northwest (FBO=fixed base operations....or plane gas stations) I insure that the fuel is the same quality from the refinery to the wingtip, next time you fly with your buddy, if you were at one of my accounts, I can assure you that you won't go down due to fuel quality! I love my job and it takes me to the greatest places that you just wouldn't go to on vacation but I have to say, I am the luckiest girl in the world to get paid to do this job and hang out at airports like Wenatchee Washington. What a stunning place in the spring and fall with all the orchards. Well worth the trip and the flight if you are inclined to fly.***
So what's a girl to eat on the road? Airports are just not set up for decent food let alone a diet that is not going to send my blood sugar to the heights of Mt. Everest.
After speaking with my friend, and fellow flyer, Margaret, who is a dietitian and hopefully a co author on this blog, we came up with some ideas that will help me to get started in the mornings. I have never been one for breakfast but now I must. I have decided to call my personal diet "The Cave Woman Diet". That means, if a cave woman didn't eat it, I should find a better choice. Pretty simple diet really, if it comes in cellophane, it's probably going to not be such a good choice. For example, Twinkies....not that I was ever big on the treats but it's an example of what the average cave woman didn't have available. It's my habit to hit a grocery store as soon as I get my rental car to get bottled water, veggie snacks (OK, those come in cellophane but they were available to the Cave Woman), a bag of almonds and I hit the road. In the following entries to this blog, the journey and the fun begins. Yes, I have had fun with this new forced change in eating lifestyle.
It will be a couple of weeks before I hit the road again. Most of my territory is frozen right now and you just can't check for water in a fuel system when it's frozen, so in the meantime, I will be experimenting with how to cook oatmeal without a stove or microwave. What is a good fast food choice that won't send my numbers soaring, and learning more about The Cave Woman within me.
Here we go..........................! And as my mother would say....."did you remember to go to the bathroom before we left?"
I went to the doctor the other day because I was "not feeling quite right". I needed to renew perscriptions, needed an inspection, and it was "just time". In the course of the appointment with the doctor, she reminded me once again that my blood sugar had been a little high and why hadn't I gone for the wonderful glucose intolerance test that she had previously asked me to get....6 months earlier. She decided to give me a quick and painless prick on the finger to find out that my blood sugar at that time was 272. The appointment just got longer. I now have my very own dipstick to check my glucose levels and I have been on a mission ever since to figure out how to make this work with my tumbleweed life style.
***about me......I inspect aviation fuel systems at FBO's in the Northwest (FBO=fixed base operations....or plane gas stations) I insure that the fuel is the same quality from the refinery to the wingtip, next time you fly with your buddy, if you were at one of my accounts, I can assure you that you won't go down due to fuel quality! I love my job and it takes me to the greatest places that you just wouldn't go to on vacation but I have to say, I am the luckiest girl in the world to get paid to do this job and hang out at airports like Wenatchee Washington. What a stunning place in the spring and fall with all the orchards. Well worth the trip and the flight if you are inclined to fly.***
So what's a girl to eat on the road? Airports are just not set up for decent food let alone a diet that is not going to send my blood sugar to the heights of Mt. Everest.
After speaking with my friend, and fellow flyer, Margaret, who is a dietitian and hopefully a co author on this blog, we came up with some ideas that will help me to get started in the mornings. I have never been one for breakfast but now I must. I have decided to call my personal diet "The Cave Woman Diet". That means, if a cave woman didn't eat it, I should find a better choice. Pretty simple diet really, if it comes in cellophane, it's probably going to not be such a good choice. For example, Twinkies....not that I was ever big on the treats but it's an example of what the average cave woman didn't have available. It's my habit to hit a grocery store as soon as I get my rental car to get bottled water, veggie snacks (OK, those come in cellophane but they were available to the Cave Woman), a bag of almonds and I hit the road. In the following entries to this blog, the journey and the fun begins. Yes, I have had fun with this new forced change in eating lifestyle.
It will be a couple of weeks before I hit the road again. Most of my territory is frozen right now and you just can't check for water in a fuel system when it's frozen, so in the meantime, I will be experimenting with how to cook oatmeal without a stove or microwave. What is a good fast food choice that won't send my numbers soaring, and learning more about The Cave Woman within me.
Here we go..........................! And as my mother would say....."did you remember to go to the bathroom before we left?"
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